


You slip into the warm bath

by Dakarima



Category: Music RPF
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, References to Depression, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 17:51:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21285743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dakarima/pseuds/Dakarima
Summary: Your skin tightens up as you slowly make yourself comfortable in the bathtub. You were always too long for the bathtub and disliked the fact that you could never find a bathtub long enough for you to stretch out in it and still be submerged in the water. You turn on the music on your phone. You slide further down and dips your whole head underwater, muffling down the music. As your body adjusts to the warmth and you can finally relax, you feel a calm come over you.
Kudos: 2





	You slip into the warm bath

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know what this is. It kind of came to me when I listened to a song on YouTube. The writing is kind of in sync with the music, so if you would like to listen to it, the link is below. This story is meant to be read slowly, and I mean SLOOOOOOWLYYYYY. There is no need to rush or panic, take your time, take as long as you need. I do hope you enjoy it and if it reminds you of your own life, or someone you know, I want to tell you that you are a beautiful person and I love you.
> 
> Here is the song:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7rUH0rCKBQ

You slip into the warm bath. Your skin tightens up as you slowly make yourself comfortable in the bathtub. You were always too long for the bathtub and disliked the fact that you could never find a bathtub long enough for you to stretch out in it and still be submerged in the water. You turn on the music on your phone. You slide further down and dips your whole head underwater, muffling down the music. As your body adjusts to the warmth and you can finally relax, you feel a calm come over you.

Yes, you had a shitty day. Not only had you given up on everything you had planned to do after coming home from work/school, but you had almost given up on the day before it had even started. You knew, as soon as you regained consciousness after a short night of sleep, this day would turn out to be long and heavy. You had those days; everyone had those days, but sometimes it felt like only you were suffering.

Everyone around you always seemed happy and everything was going according to plan, but for you, everything went south, at least it felt like it, especially on these days.

You take a moment to reflect on your day. When you opened your eyes this morning, your body were telling you to just stay in bed, don’t move, don’t leave, just stay in bed all day, but you didn’t. You pulled your own duvet off your aching and heavy body. You sat up at the edge of your bed, still feeling your body resisting. Sometimes it even felt like someone was pushing you back, shackles keeping you restrained to the bed, but you chose to rise nonetheless.

You skipped breakfast though. You didn’t have time to eat as you had taken too much time to fight that heavy feeling keeping you down. All you had time to was to put on some clothes, brush your hair and leave for work/school.

You made it through school/work without crying or falling apart. You kept your back straight, even though you couldn’t help but to keep your head low, as you didn’t have the strength to carry yourself fully, but you pulled through it. You managed to plaster on a smile throughout the day, keep the façade up that you were having a great day and even managed to do some proper work.

Even though you felt like dying halfway throughout the work-/school day, you still chose to walk home. The walk home, with music in your ears, always gave you some time for yourself, which was what you always needed on days like these, in fact, every day you craved to have your own time. With your favourite music filling your head, it kept all your dark thoughts and memories you wanted to forget, from occupying your brain. It wasn’t the perfect weather to walk home in, but at least it wasn’t raining. You enjoyed the fresh air, even though that disgusting smell you can’t describe were lingering around a few corners. You couldn’t help but love the city you lived in.

As soon as you saw the familiar building you call home, you felt your body turning heavy again. You couldn’t wait to get yourself inside and collapse on your bed. All the plans you had set to do as soon as you got home left your memory and all you could think of was to change clothes into your favourite joggers and hoodie. You took out your keys, making them ready so you could enter your home as quickly as possible.

Once inside you collapsed on your bed, throwing your jacket and bag in the corner of the room. You took a couple of deep breathes, trying your hardest not to fall asleep. That heavy feeling you felt this morning were creeping back on you. It told you to just go to sleep, but you couldn’t, it was too early. You knew that if you went to sleep now, you would wake up in the middle of the night, being unable to fall asleep again.

You pushed yourself out of bed, pulled off your shoes and threw them in the same corner as your bag and jacket. You glanced at yourself in the mirror and couldn’t help yourself from smiling.

You made your way to the bathroom. You started to draw a bath and took off your clothes. On the edge of the sink, you saw the razor blade from yesterday. It was clean and untouched. You felt a kick of pride come over you. You looked at yourself again in the mirror and saw the past that was itched into your skin. Your arms were the ones carrying most of those old memories, but you had managed to live with them. You just smiled at yourself.

_You’re so strong. You won’t quit and everyone is proud of you._

You turn to the bathtub and turns the tap off. You slip into the warm bath.


End file.
